Sometimes, you end up becoming the things you hate most about your parents.
I started Monday morning coaching call with a major A-ha moment. My sharp senior coach Yunn Ee told me” It is no coincidence that your mum does not see that you love her just as the way you do not see the importance of sleep” First reaction: HUH ?
She got to know about my perception of REST, that since the age of 12 i have pretty much decided that SLEEP is for the dead. And that sleep is unproductive when i could be doing more. (Notice the state of mind as it decide ” i’m not doing enough”) Perhaps this explains why i have never slept before 12 midnight since the age of 12, unless i was sick or having jetlag. While in my head i would know the famous chinese saying “To rest is to prepare for the long journey ahead”, emotionally , i linked sleeping with guilt for enjoyment.
In the same way, my senior pointed out that my mum would always focus on what i didn’t do (eg: leave a spot of messiness on the table when i had packed and cleared the rest of the table) instead of focusing on what i have done. This mentality is damaging on so many levels. I developed the same self- sabotaging qualities that causes me to focus on what i don’t have , did not do, and beat myself up over it. I rarely celebrated my wins and it causes serious contentment issues.
I guess that’s why they say the fruit never falls far from the tree.
Yeap, that’s the 30 + 6 crazy passionate people i’m going to spend the next 90 days of my life in intensity with. Nope, we may not be meeting everyday, but not a day goes by without the passionate wins & celebration of each others goals.
We had our first WOW day meeting at a member’s beautiful castle somewhere in Orchard. Ben sold us a vision where we voted on doing an outrageous fund raising activity for Rainbow Centre who is building an extension wing to be able to increase capacity to house more children and training for their therapists and caretakers. in 30 days or so, the goal to raise a cool S$ 1 million and enroll the entire leadership alumni from Legacy to LP125 to join us in this big vision!!
It scares us, but that is what stretches us to our potential and to see how beautiful team dynamics can be when everyone can come together for a common vision and not let their feelings, attitudes and fixed beliefs get in the way. And it is heartening to see everyone volunteer to take up roles and break up into sub committees for work delegation (mind you everyone works a full time job , sans some lucky homemakers)
More updates on this to come
On friday i made a lunch date with my leadership program senior. She had been volunteering in my life since Basic – Advanced and now to my Leadership program, and i know she does that because she loves and cares for us. (why else would anyone want to volunteer their precious time to mentor and coach people??)
Now i have been fearful of her because she has portrayed herself as the ultimate fierce bitch (at least to me) since basic and i have avoided her as much as possible. While being fierce, dominating and overbearing may be a turnoff to me, deep in my heart… i know that i secretly admire the qualities she possessed:
1) Her crystal clear clarity of her life purpose
2) Her decisiveness on problem solving difficult situations
3) Her ability to influence and win hearts of people
4) Sharpness to co-relate and make observations
Qualities which i would very much love to have, but have been procrastinating to develop. Hence after advanced, i made a mental note that i would have lunch with this powerful woman one day just to have a casual chat with her about life.