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Inheriting Undesirable Traits Subconciously

Sometimes, you end up becoming the things you hate most about your parents.

I started Monday morning coaching call with a major A-ha moment. My sharp senior coach Yunn Ee told me” It is no coincidence that your mum does not see that you love her just as the way you do not see the importance of sleep”  First reaction: HUH ?

She got to know about my perception of REST, that since the age of 12 i have pretty much decided that SLEEP is for the dead. And that sleep is unproductive when i could be doing more. (Notice the state of mind as it decide ” i’m not doing enough”) Perhaps this explains why i have never slept before 12 midnight since the age of 12, unless i was sick or having jetlag. While in my head i would know the famous chinese saying “To rest is to prepare for the long journey ahead”, emotionally , i linked sleeping with guilt for enjoyment.

In the same way, my senior pointed out that my mum would always focus  on what i didn’t do (eg: leave a spot of messiness on the table when i had packed and cleared the rest of the table) instead of focusing on what i have done. This mentality is damaging on so many levels. I developed the same self- sabotaging qualities that causes me to focus on what i don’t have , did not do, and beat myself up over it. I rarely celebrated my wins and it causes serious contentment issues. 

I guess that’s why they say the fruit never falls far from the tree.

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Asiaworks LP126 Volunteers with Social Health Growth

Today i started the journey of my 1 hr a week community service, delivering donated canned food items to needy families. The families typically had many children or were much elderly. Looking through the family stat sheets, i felt sad and yet amazed how some families could pull of raising a family of 6 with just a very humble salary.  There are many disadvantaged families as i made my rounds around the 1-2 room flats. Most were dark and gloomy as suspectedly they didnt want to waste money on electricity.  Living room were pretty much turned into communal sleeping areas as well. The experience took on a whole new meaning of feeling grateful for even having a brightly lit and ventilated home.

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