Sometimes, you end up becoming the things you hate most about your parents.
I started Monday morning coaching call with a major A-ha moment. My sharp senior coach Yunn Ee told me” It is no coincidence that your mum does not see that you love her just as the way you do not see the importance of sleep” First reaction: HUH ?
She got to know about my perception of REST, that since the age of 12 i have pretty much decided that SLEEP is for the dead. And that sleep is unproductive when i could be doing more. (Notice the state of mind as it decide ” i’m not doing enough”) Perhaps this explains why i have never slept before 12 midnight since the age of 12, unless i was sick or having jetlag. While in my head i would know the famous chinese saying “To rest is to prepare for the long journey ahead”, emotionally , i linked sleeping with guilt for enjoyment.
In the same way, my senior pointed out that my mum would always focus on what i didn’t do (eg: leave a spot of messiness on the table when i had packed and cleared the rest of the table) instead of focusing on what i have done. This mentality is damaging on so many levels. I developed the same self- sabotaging qualities that causes me to focus on what i don’t have , did not do, and beat myself up over it. I rarely celebrated my wins and it causes serious contentment issues.
I guess that’s why they say the fruit never falls far from the tree.